Cycling from Paris to Milan by way of Lyon, a crash on a 6-lane highway, and the Marseilles skate park from Tony Hawk 2.

Have a picnic near Moskva river, and don't organise concerts in Orthodox Churches. We've heard that gets you into trouble.

Take a canal bus to a Waterloopein Flea Market, and of course - cycle. But not too close to the tram lines!

Bathe naked in a 1920s swimming hall, and spend time in a sauna in one of Finland's beautiful forests. But avoid Lordi...

Trek through the tracks of a lemur, and eat soursop. Though don't forget your knife, and take care near the Allaudias...

Drink mint tea, and surf in Taghazout, but don't bother with cheap sandwiches, or eating at Marrakech Market Square

High desert, log-sitting in lakes, Portland farmer's markets, and the Redwoods state park.

Eat fresh sushi at 4am, get naked in Onsen hot springs, but don't bother eating whale; it's not worth the guilt.

Snowboard at the Salang Pass, and visit the Blue Mosque in Mazar-e Sharif. But don't blow your nose in public...

Kung Fu Shows, the 798 district, and late night room service are all recommended. Sea cucumbers are not.

Cycle everywhere, drink a speciality brew at Coffee Collective, and go canal swimming. But don't step in the bike lanes!

Hitchhike in Mexico, climb volcanos in Guatemala, and vist the sloth sanctuary in Costa Rica. And never hurry.

Walk in the woods at night, and stay in a log cabin in northernmost Italy. But don't forget your suncream, compagno!

Ride a horse, and check out the pink waters at Aigues Mortes. But avoid those pesky mistral winds, and remember your bug spray.

When in the Sunshine Coast, visit the Ginger Factory, climb Wirreanda, and eat Fish and Chips.

Play the sitar, smash your chai cup, and get high off a THC-laden lassi in India's oldest city.

Absorb the happenings in Bozar, visit as many parks as possible, and go see the Grand Place - a public space like no other.

The Gallic capital boasts excellent cous cous and flea markets. Better to avoid the overpriced crepes, and the Champs Elysées, though.

Camp for free in East Java, and take a boat around the Coron Islands, but don't forget to bring crisp US dollars to Burma.

Lose your way, jump into waterfalls, and climb peaks in this former Autonomous Soviet Socialist Republic.

Sing songs in Niçard with the locals, and eat cream cakes, but watch out for the folk who'll try to sleep on your doorstep.

Drink aquavit, and walk on the frozen Baltic sea, but don't complain about the cold - you'll look like a wimp.

Swim in bioluminescent bays and eat Pinchos de Puerco, but try not run over any iguanas on the freeway...

Go skiing, swim in freezing Norwegian waters, and then get drunk at the afterski party. But not the other way around.

Watch the elderly doing TaiChi at Tiantan Park, but at all costs, avoid the shopping malls in one of the world's most populous cities.

Eat Burritos, drink at Pop's Bar, and barbecue naked on Baker Beach...

In Norway's capital, it's advocated that you visit Hausmania, see some Edvard Munch in its hometown, and take a ride to Lillehammer.

Try local drugs that make your spit red, and marvel at the gurgling volcanoes and tropical sunsets.

Eat shawarma, and smoke sheesha at the Madinat, but avoid the shopping malls. And, hey - best not get inebriated.

Go "Walk About", dance like a Big Bird, and eat bush tucker. But bring everything - if there were a middle of nowhere, Warbuton's it.

Curry in Whitechapel, snooker in Dalston, and Brick Lane's Sunday Market. We know our manners, we spend our tanners.

When in Thailand, you can ride an elephant. And take a boat ride through Bankok's canals. And eat Pad Thai on the beach.

Drink borscht, eat po kievski, and have a hot party with a Ukranian girl or boy. But don't give strangers your 'phone number.

In Nevada, you can learn about atomic testing, legally fire automatic weapons, and of course, visit Las Vegas.

In the biggest US state, it is customary to wear thermals, eat crab with butter sauce, and fly in a seaplane.

Go camping under cotton trees, eat fish soup with the locals, and drink rooftop beers in Monrovia. Watch out for the mango flies, mind.

Volcanoes and ceviche are a must, but don't get naked in Amazonia. The ants are massive.

Get yourself a hand-crafted Zebra (or animal of your choice) from Addis Ababa Market, but watch out for that salad...

The promise of coffee, bathhouses, ruinpubs and Jewish quarters suggests you really ought to go to Budapest.

Rent a bike for 2€50, but remember not to try and do anything on a Sunday in France's fastest growing city.

Row under the Oberbaumbrucke bridge, go rooftop hopping, but definitely don't get caught fare evading on the U-Bahn.

Don't skimp on the Arcade visits, eat Fish and Chips, and stay in a caravan in this Essex seaside town.

In Northwestern Ontario, there are plenty of geological wonders on which to feast your eyes. And don't forget to eat at Denise's diner.

Riding your bike along the canals at night is a must, but don't smoke your joints at tourist's coffee shops.

Chill at the city park, get around by bike, and eat salad in Austria's second largest city.

When in Korea's megacity, it's important that you ask the locals to do karaoke with you; then go pump some weights with the old-folk.

America's Western lands want you to drink whiskey in the woods, cook over campfire, and join naked hippies in its hot springs.

If you find yourself in Tromsø, walk over its bridge, look at its sky, but please don't shoot your girl.

Go to house parties without an invite, eat burek, and drink gemist when in Croatia's largest city.

Bristolians hate Tesco, have more Greggs' than sense, and, appealing as it might be, imitating the accent is a no no.

Drink a latte made by one of the world's best baristas, and take a dip in the North Atlantic ocean. In the summer, of course.

Beware the shallow water Sea Urchins, Pluck Plums straight from the tree, and Avoid the Old Town of Dubrovnik at all costs.

Drink a Guinness in Mulligan's, walk the Great South Wall, but don't go looking for any James Joyces...

Don't be squeamish, share your taxis, and expect tardiness from the locals. And don't forget to visit the renowned Cinémathèque.

Volunteer, go see the mountains on a ferry, but for god's sake, don't compare it to Toronto. Vancouverites really hate that.

If you're in Belgium at any time other than August, skip Bruges and spend some time in the capital of the East Flanders province.

Toronto isn't that big, so don't be afraid to get lost on your bike rides between galleries and away from Ossington.

Forget Barcelona's Metro - walk or rent a bike to traverse the small streets, to get tapas, and to avoid Ramblas.

Wear sunscreen, and be a water baby in Queensland's capital. But not while listening to Aussie Hip-Hop.

3,560 ft above sea level, Mount Snowdon is the highest point in the British Isles outside of Scotland. Look out for Mountain Goats.

Rent a bike, avoid public transport, and consider it a good thing if you find yourself lost in Wroclaw.

Do forget what time it is, but don't be afraid to ask for directions when in the most visited city in the world.

Manchester is home to The Best Football Team In The World. If you're going though, don't forget to take an umbrella. Just don't.

Two hundred kilometres southeast of Greece's mainland lies Santorini, an island of volcanic thrills, hot springs, and too much bread.

Keep to the left on escalators, traverse the city by bike or travelcard, and don't fall asleep on the Night Buses.

One of the most history rich cities in Europe, Berlin is great to get lost in, drink beer in, and eat Curry Wurst in...

New York's most infamous borough of Brooklyn has dunes, nude beaches, parks, and more artworks than you can shake a tortilla at...

Home to The Warriors, the Brooklyn Cyclones, and an amusement park unlike any other, take a trip to Coney Island.

If you find yourself in the Ukrainian city of Ivano-Frankivs'k check out the Baroque city centre, the nearby mountains, and the locals.

That visitors are only allowed to use the last two stations of The Metro, gives the impression it exists purely for show...

Don't wear layers, remember your umbrella, and don't chew gum when visiting Singapore, but do have a hike in the rainforest.

On the Greek island of Kefalonia you'll need to try a Meat Pie, see Fiskardo, and beware the treacherous roads...

Drinking too many Pisco Sours, stargazing at Psychedelic Desert Parties, Sunrises, and Learning 'Chilenismos' are a must in Chile.

In conflict-stricken Palestine, there are some key things to avoid. Getting arrested is one.

Have a thrift at the Flea Markets, chill at the park, and get wasted at Xlib Club, but don't get caught drinking in the streets...

The French part of Europe's 'Great Mountain Range', Hautes-Alpes is a top ski destination & former host of three Winter Olympics.

Just South of the Yorkshire Dales rests Leeds; a city with a history stretching back to the 5th Century and Gun-Knife-Knuckle Dusters.

Stuff yourself with as much Chai, Thali, Indian Television, and Spiritual experiences as you can. Don't worry about a dodgy tummy.

Don't worry when people are staring at you in the commercial and educational central city of Vietnam. And that's advice from a native.

Explore the coast, visit the temples, and get addicted to Eel Skin Crisps, but leave those Chicken Feet well alone.

Just over an hour out of London towards the Southern Coast is a wooden pier with rollercoasters at the very end...

California to Arizona via Vegas, Death Valley, and The Grand Canyon. That's a lot of terrain...

They don't tell you about the rough Winters in Melbourne, but a rooftop beer or finding Taco Truck can make up for that.

Beach Volleyball with the local kids, drinks with the local adults, and dancing with Tony.

Leave the Old Firm games well alone to avoid getting yourself a 'Glasgee Kiss'...

Embracing the Western ideals of helping the rich and displacing the poor, Shanghai's traditional Chinese histories are at risk...

Colorado has mountains. Loads of them.

Once the home of Britain's largest export dock and most successful football team, Liverpool's history is world-renowned.

Home to the Colosseum, The Sistine Chapel, and the smallest movie theatre ever, apparently.

Eat raw chicken, get naked, and watch daytime telly. All at once.

The traffic will send you crazy, bikinis send you to jail, and drugs... Don't even ask.

Raft, Toboggan, and (Cheese) Roll around New Zealand's larger, but less populated Island.

The Subarctic Scottish Archipelago of Shetland. Bonxies, and all.

Tips on Snakes, Stars, and spending time in South Africa.

Beach Walks, Bad Tans, and Botanical Gardens.

Blue Mosques, Golden Horns, Continent-hopping, and Fish sandwiches.

Heart-Shaped Eggs, Spanish Hot Chocolates, and Alcohol Curfews.

A tour of South East Asia via Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, and Laos.

Portugal's second largest city nestled in the hills overlooking the Douro river estuary.

San Francisco, Austin, New Orleans, Chicago, Wisconsin, New York, Minnesota, on the road.